The Pool of Eternal Fragrance
by Shinku
Summary: He knew Sarah could be cruel, but he had to admit, this was probably down right mean.


Special Thanks, to Tana-san (my mother) who is always willing to read my stories, regardless of whether or not they are done, and Fyreheart who is willing to patiently explain and even lament with me the silliness of the characters we all seem to enjoy. Thank you for being interested in your readers. -Shi

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**The Pool of Eternal Fragrance**

_By Shinku_

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Summary: He knew Sarah could be cruel, but he had to admit, this was probably down right _mean_.

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Sarah Williams, Goblin Queen of four years, had had enough.

It had been three _months_ since the little snots had started their "protest" and Sarah wasn't going to take it anymore.

The goblins thought they were so clever, trying to outwit their monarchs. The new Queen smiled knowingly to herself as she firmly closed the library's door.

It was time she taught them a lesson.

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Jareth was concerned.

The Goblin King had known Sarah Williams for longer than she had known him, and he knew one important fact about her. A simple fact that he had foolishly ignored in the past.

You did not, under _any_ circumstances, underestimate her.

The consequences, after all, were rarely ever desirable.

Thoughtfully, he glanced out of the study's window as he considered the current situation.

It was actually a runner that had caused this mess. A young mother that had, by some quirk of her own personality, managed to anger the few goblins she'd come across.

The details of the event itself were a bit sketchy, but from what little he'd been able to see (and more of what he'd been able to hear, considering the goblins had managed to corner her in an oubliette) she had tried to convince the little devils that peaceful protest would be a better outlet for their pique against her.

It hadn't worked.

At all.

Or, at least, it hadn't worked for the young mother (whom Sarah was still tormenting).

Nearly a week after the aforementioned mother had been returned, minus one child, the goblins had chosen to give this curious new form of troublemaking a shot. As a result, they had refused to bathe until their demands were met. The real icing on the cake was that the brainless lot had no idea what they were protesting.

Hence, no way to _meet_ a demand.

His very _generous_ wife had been faintly disgusted and mostly amused by the goblins' newest stunt for about the first week.

Until the goblins decided they weren't smelling fast enough, and had begun finding ways to remedy that fact.

Within three days, Sarah had banned every goblin that didn't bathe from stepping foot inside the castle.

They'd been trapped ever since.

With a resigned sigh, Jareth forced his mind back to the task at hand, and returned to what little paper work he had left. Three months had not only allowed him the time and peace to catch up on the irritatingly large pile, but to get ahead of it.

Picking his pen as he reached the end of the document, the Goblin King couldn't help but glance uneasily at the door.

Perhaps, it was time for a small vacation.

Quickly signing his name at the bottom of the missive, Jareth nodded thoughtfully to himself.

Just as soon as Sarah was done with her project, he decided.

After all, once his Queen was done with them, he was sure the goblins were going to need some time to recover.

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"Is my Lady sure this is the proper course of action?"

Sarah briefly glanced down at Sir Didymus before nodding.

"I think I've been fairly patient about this stunt of theirs so far."

Sir Didymus frowned slightly, but reluctantly agreed, "It has indeed been some time."

"Some time!" Hoggle shouted from where he stood. "I'll say it's been some time!"

"What do you think, Hoggle?" Sarah asked, looking at the small pool at her feet. "It doesn't seem very big."

Hoggle grinned. "Size don't matter much if it's deep. You said you wanted them to be soaked. Well, they're going to be soaked."

Sarah's answering grin took on a slightly wicked edge. "Perfect."

"Sawah, want rocks, now?" Ludo asked.

"Yes, Ludo," the young woman agreed. "Just like we talked about."

Ludo's shaggy head bobbed in acknowledgment, before lifting. The Goblin Queen smiled as the Rock Caller's eerie howl stretched around them.

Yes, it would be just perfect.

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The Goblin King frowned as he wandered the stacks. The last he'd seen of Sarah, she'd been researching in the library, but so far his search had not yielded his wayward Queen.

Quickly turning, he sought out the study table in the furthest, and most secluded corner of the room. Sarah had a certain affection for the spot, and he was positive that any extra work she had would still be there.

Sure enough, as soon as he reached it, a quick glance at the table proved him right. However, as he allowed his eyes to roam over the old notes and diagrams she'd pulled out, he couldn't help but be a little disconcerted at what his devious wife seemed to be up to.

"What are you planning, Sarah?"

A sudden shout from out in the courtyard, followed by sudden, panicked, screaming quickly had him racing across the floor toward the window at the far end of the library.

Once he got a good look outside, however, Jareth promptly groaned.

Of all the things…!

Quickly, before he could change his mind, and let whatever was going to happen happen, the Goblin King swiftly unlatched the window and leaped out.

A single thought and a practiced twist of magic, and he was silently soaring down toward the commotion.

Sometimes, he lamented, it just didn't pay to leave Sarah to her own devices.

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She was dirty, bruised, tired, and in no mood to deal with the sudden mutiny that was on her hands, but heaven help the little creeps if she was going to take it lying down, not anymore.

"Listen, and listen well, you troublemakers, because I'm only going to say this once. You have only one option, either you turn your butts around and crawl back to wherever you came from, or I'm getting even."

The goblins grinned, all sharp teeth and overconfidence.

Sarah grinned back.

A few of the smaller goblins shifted, quickly seeking an escape route. Unlike many of their larger counterparts, they were quite sensitive to possible danger, and at this point in time, there was nothing _possible_ about their Queen.

"Well, kiddies?" She asked knowingly.

All the goblins under a foot and a half in height mysteriously vanished, the taller breeds remaining ignorantly unaware of the sudden desertion.

Within a few moments, however, from the back of the crowd, the tallest of the lot (and also the smelliest) brazenly stepped forward at his Queen's provocation.

"You can't do nothin' to us," he snarled at her. "You ain't the Boss."

Sarah's grin became positively dangerous.

"The Boss says I'm co-Boss, so that means you _do_ to have to listen to me."

The goblin hissed and bared his fangs.

"We're under protest, we ain't gotta listen to nothin'." There was a loud mass voice of agreement, and the arrogant faerie straightened boldly.

Sarah's grin vanished.

"Wrong answer."

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"_**Enough!**_" Jareth snarled as he swiftly landed in his fae form and scooped up his wayward queen. He wasn't sure what she's been about to do to the goblin she'd been cornering, but he had his doubts on the legality of it, queen or not.

Everyone froze.

"Now," Jareth began, making sure he had a firm grip on the woman hanging smugly off his shoulder, "who would like to explain to me, what is going on?"

The goblins around him shifted nervously from foot to foot, and Jareth blinked in mild surprise. Hadn't there been more of them?

"Well… You see Boss…" A young goblin stuttered.

Jareth stared down at the creature with mild curiosity. Was it just him, or did it look a bit pale?

"Rink was sayin' about how… how we… were protestin' and…" The goblins eyes got big and glassy, like the memory was too horrible to recall.

Jareth frowned. "I see." He didn't, but judging from the self-satisfied air hovering about his wife... the picture was gradually becoming clearer.

"Could someone point out Rink to me?" He asked to those assembled.

The goblins shifted again, looking at each other worriedly.

"Well?" Jareth tried again.

"I'm afraid Rink will not be around until tomorrow. Perhaps you'll be able to question him then."

Jareth refrained from sighing. "What have you done, Sarah?"

"They're fine," she admitted as she hung passively from his shoulder with no complaint, idly fiddling with the tails of his vest. "They should all be back by tomorrow."

"Sarah…" He warned.

"Jareth…" She mocked.

This time, he did sigh. "Would you at least be so kind as to tell me if I'm going to have to explain anything to the Courts?"

"There's nothing to explain," she answered firmly. "This was an internal matter that was taken care of. Nothing for them to stick their noses into."

Jareth wasn't sure if he should be relieved or more worried.

Sarah decided to take pity on him.

"I promise, they'll all be back by tomorrow, Jareth. You have nothing to worry about."

The Goblin King took a deep, calming, breath.

There just wasn't any reasoning with her when she got like this.

"Is there any particular reason as to why you don't feel like telling me what you've done to your challengers?" He asked, resigned.

Because of the way he was holding her, he couldn't see her expression, but if the goblins he _could_ see were any indication, it was hardly a kind look.

"I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

Jareth groaned.

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Just as she promised, the unaccounted for goblins started trickling in the next day.

At first glance, there appeared to be nothing different about them. They still had all their original limbs, the same clothes, and even what little wits they seemed to usually retain were still intact.

So, what had she done?

Jareth found out, later that day, when Rink had been found and brought before him.

Quietly putting his head in his hands, the Goblin King did everything he could think of to refrain from laughing at the rather contrite creature.

And Rink _was_ contrite.

Jareth had to admit, that in all his years of life, he had never _once_ seen a goblin that smelled of lemons and roses.

He knew Sarah could be cruel, but he had to admit, this was probably down right _mean_.

"I understand you had a disagreement with the Queen," Jareth began.

"Yeah, Boss," the goblin admitted.

"I take it you learned your lesson from this encounter?"

Rink winced. "Yeah, Boss. I learned."

Jareth nodded once, and motioned the creature out. "Very well, then."

The goblin sullenly shuffled out of the throne room, and Jareth silently counted to twenty. As soon as he reached his goal, and was sure the faerie was out of hearing range, he felt his lips twitch. It wasn't long after that the laughter started.

That was how Sarah found him, nearly ten minutes later, giggling like a small child, and holding his stomach like it hurt. She had to admit, if the tears running down his face were any indication of how hard he'd been laughing, it probably did.

She smiled at his obvious amusement.

"And you tell me I'm cruel," she rebuked.

This started a whole new wave of laughter.

Sarah rolled her eyes as she walked over to her own throne and sat. It was a wonder the man hadn't passed out from asphyxiation.

Another ten minutes later, Jareth had managed to bring his laughter down to an odd giggling wheeze as he desperately tried to catch his breath. Sarah dutifully rubbed semi-sympathetic circles along his back, patiently awaiting the return of her husband's sanity.

"Are you done?" She asked.

There was a hesitant, shaky nod before he looked up at her.

"_Now_, will you tell me what you did?" He asked amusedly.

Sarah grinned.

"I thought it was obvious."

Jareth merely cocked his head in silent inquiry.

"Didn't you find my notes?"

"I found _my_ notes," he corrected.

She blinked. His… Ohhhh, right.

"Mine were under yours. You really didn't find them? You're usually such a snoop."

"I didn't exactly have a time to look, since _someone_ was causing a riot," he quipped.

She smiled smugly. "Yeah, good times."

Jareth rolled his eyes.

"You were about to explain why our goblins suddenly smell of lemons and roses," he prompted.

"It's not just lemons and roses," she answered airily.

Jareth gave her a pointed look.

She sighed. "Fine, fine, have it your way," and held out her hand.

Grinning, he swiftly took it.

The world briefly winked out of existence before Jareth found himself standing in front of a small pool. It was quite stunning in its simple beauty, ringed with large stones and all manner of flowering plant. Something any gardener would envy.

His eyes slid over to his Queen.

"I see you recruited help."

Sarah smiled. "Of course."

He turned his gaze back toward the little pool and took a closer look. It wasn't hard to see what she'd done. After all, it was the same basic design as his Bog. There were, of course, of few slight differences like…

"It _changes_ scent?" He marveled.

Sarah nodded happily. "Yeah, I mean, women rarely wear the same perfume as one another. Why should the goblins be stuck with the same basic smell?"

"Then the goblins _can_ change what they smell like?"

She nodded.

"If they toss themselves back in again, sure. However, I'm afraid they're stuck with whatever smell the pool will generate."

Jareth could only shake his head. Leave it to Sarah come up with a way to not only punish the goblins, but get her way in the main dispute.

"Have you thought of a name for this blasphemy to my Bog?" He asked.

Sarah stared.

"Name? I just wanted those little snots to stop stinking up the whole city. Why do I have to name it?"

He wordlessly pointed to a small area in the center of the pool. Sarah looked, and gaped.

"I'm afraid you followed my notes a little to well, Precious. Your new toy is rather permanent."

Sarah groaned.

"I just wanted something that would last a few weeks, not a life time."

He shrugged. "What's done is done. Best start thinking of a name."

It took them a while to come to an agreement (_"I think the Flowering Pool is a good name!" "But it doesn't define what it is, or don't you remember how bright our subjects are?"_),but after much consideration, they finally settled on, 'The Pool of Eternal Fragrance'. (_"I'm still calling it the Flowering Pool." "So, long as I can tip the Runners into it.")_

"Well," Sarah yawned. "Now that, that's settled, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?"

Jareth smiled. "I've managed to pull together some free time. Any preferences, about where you'd like to take a holiday?"

Sarah pretended to consider before grinning cheekily at him. "Surprise me."

Swiftly taking her hand with a grin, the Goblin King and his Queen disappeared in a shower of glitter.

Sixty seconds later, the peace of the clearing was shattered by an unexpected yelp, and a splash as a mischievous goblin was promptly tipped into 'The Pool of Eternal Fragrance'.

The little miscreant sputtered and sniffled as he quickly paddled his way towards land. Once both feet were firmly on solid ground again he gave a good deft shake, ridding himself of the excess water.

Timidly, after a few moments, he warily lifted his arm and took a hesitant, cautious, sniff. He wrinkled his nose at the smell.

Lavender and vanilla.

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Finis

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_AN: This idea scooted about one day and wouldn't leave me alone. Ever since I first watch Labyrinth I thought the Bog of Eternal Stench was a funny (and poorly named) idea. I mean, stinking forever is a horrible prospect sure, but it's only one smell. After the first dunking, it's going to cease being a threat. I mean, you already smell like the worst thing imaginable, life can only go up from there, right? _

_However, what if the smell changed each time you got dunked? _

_*grins* Now, we're getting somewhere._

_Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the story. And please… Don't forget to leave a contribution in the little box. -Shi_

_Edited (8/27/10): Beta work by, 'Kura-chan' and OpenLocks._


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